Life offers relationships built upon feelings of forever. Sometimes these relationships seem to come and go like the quick rise and fall of the sun. Relationships, for some reason, are only for a season. Often, we neglect that the relationship had a mighty big reason. I am lucky enough to have friendships that have endured the peaks and valleys of time. One friendship has existed since preschool and continues to the present day. The bitter truth is 10-, 20-, and 30- year friendships are not the “norm”. Unexpectedly, those relationships we hold so dear can be drastically cut short by the cruelty of a broken world. Oftentimes, the abrupt end is not even by our own doing. Our false expectation of always being together forever stares its beady eyes into our hearts and souls. Loss comes for us all in this life, even the longest drought will, at some point in time receive rain. Loss does not care about age or maturity. Loss brings with it a rather odd, misunderstood and peculiar sibling: grief. Grief comes from being unable to replace or repair what has been broken to its original state. I am not sure how to grieve or even if I do it well. The past three years have inclined my mind to decipher how to grieve healthily for myself, for my kids and for my Lord. To bear witness that grief is not always weird but good.
As a parent I hope and pray for the best but prepare for the worst. For example I try to get my kids to wear shoes when going outside to play because I know “the worst.” Like when one of my best friends from childhood sliced the bottom of his foot wide open on a plastic base while playing wiffle ball in the backyard. I know history in this case is unlikely to repeat itself but “it could happen” as J.P throughout the movie Angels in the Outfield – even though it seems unlikely the Angels will win a game let alone the pennant. Parents live in the anxiety of “it could happen” or “better to be safe than sorry.” Do parents believe grief could happen? What about when your child’s friend suffers a tragic accident or friend, aunt, grandparent or sibling passes away unexpectedly. “It could happen,” I would even be so bold as to say it will happen. If it could or will, then how can I address this with my kids? My children have experience with loss from the passing of their Great Gran and MomMom but it was not the loss of someone close and intimate. What about when or if they would lose a friend. I know of local stories where an elementary child was tragically hit and killed by a car, a middle school girl committed suicide by jumping off a bridge into traffic or a high school teenager messing around with a gun lodges a bullet deep into his chest cavity immediately passing away. As a parent of three young boys how do I help my child grieve tragedy? What resources are available? What can I do to comfort them? Where do we start?
The door to the grief filled room must open – if not by the parents then tragic loss will surely open it for us. Always together by Illustrator and Author Patricia Kreiser opens the door for parents. Kreiser wrote Always together in response to her own children’s grief. Her son lost a dear childhood friend and she realized there was no playbook as a parent on how to approach this type of loss with a child. Kreiser realized that grief is something we rarely discuss with children and wanted to create a healthy way to open that door. This was her way of giving a hug to her son and the family that lost their child. We all know loss is coming, so why wait until after the grief has started. How we grieve can pay dividends in the long run for our children’s mental health. Kreiser has a heart for the Lord, children and art. Her website is listed below with other resources beside her book. Get started helping your child understand their grief and how to properly process the inevitability of loss. With this beautiful book your child will learn to honor the memories of loved ones who have passed while looking to the future with family and friends who are still with us. Open the door to healing. Though we may not always be together physically, our hearts will forever be intertwined in the eternal tapestry of life.
Lit Lamp For The Soul 
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